donna, i have tried to be honest with you but have not. truth be told the moment we first saw each other was terrifying for me. It was on the day of the solar eclipse and the sun burned my eyes because i stared at it until it burned my eyes. it is cruel how literal our universe chooses to act in the times where it matters most. I had every intention of conquering my life blind but when I saw you all was clear. You stepped onto the crosswalk, making it to the other side, but i had a loose shoelace and stopped to tie my shoe in the middle of the road, halting traffic to get your attention. when the taxis stopped i exhaled depply twice. i passed out and woke up in the hospital. you weren't there but the nurse was. I told her about how i was going to save the planet but she didn't once believe me throughout my entire 10 day visit. when i left the hospital my only goal was to find you. it was not going to be easy without eyes. i spent months training my hearing. hearing this. hearing that. audiobooks for academic journals littered my apartment. hard drives filled with relevant wikipedia articles. When fate would have it that my sesnes were ready to find you, i drove down the 101 south until colliding with a brick wall. i knew it wasn't my time because I woke up in the hospital 3 days later with a bruised arm and a determined heart. I called your phone based on my intuitive ability to guess phone numbers. 859-494-3099. No answer. I knew this was a sign. I flew to colorado. beautiful state but the beauty of the landscape was not of my concern. i knew you had to be in colorado. i had searched all of california and you were not there. the hertz rent a car did not want me to find you. i told them i would be able to find you regardless. i walked to a motel. the room they gave me was giant. it had a bed and a toilet and tv. i watched movies until the sun came up, imagining myself in them as the protagonist. there was no time to waste now as i was on my way to you. i searched all of colorado. you were not there. it seemed to me as if i was always 3 steps behind you. the only way i was going to catch up was by being 3 steps ahead of you. i ran fast. i ran to new mexico. i ran to texas. i told my best friend who is no longer my best friend that i could not be their best freind anymore. it was simply consuming my time being a friend to them and i had greater goals in life. i had to do what i was meant to do. you weren't in texas either by the way. I saw your footsteps on a trail going up to the big house on the hill. this was in vermont. I knew it was a place you would probably setlle down in because vermont has trees and you loved trees. it had been six years atthis point and i knew tht if i wasnt getting close now then i never would . i built a website in your honor. inyourhonordonna.com no visistors. you visited on a vpn to see what the commotion was about. i think you liked it but i will never know because i never found you. i know you were looking for me too but its too late for me now. I am trying hard to piece to gether why we were never able to find each other but it is too hard for me to go on. my heart is weak and my eyes are weaker. I will live out my days in peace and i will be happy but not with you. i will be happy with my friend Sam and with my uncle who loves football on television. goodbye donna.